


5 Times Tony and Steve Found Out About a Teammate's Relationship, and One Time a Teammate Found Out About Their Own

by Driverpicksthemooseic (Ratkinzluver33)



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: 5 Things, 5 Times, 5+1 Things, Established Relationship, F/F, Fluff, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, Light-Hearted, M/M, Multi, N Things, Superfamily, Superfamily (Marvel)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-12
Updated: 2014-08-12
Packaged: 2018-02-12 20:39:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2123922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ratkinzluver33/pseuds/Driverpicksthemooseic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(Even Though It Was Kinda, Sorta Obvious)</p>
            </blockquote>





	5 Times Tony and Steve Found Out About a Teammate's Relationship, and One Time a Teammate Found Out About Their Own

**Author's Note:**

> This is pure, ridiculous, terrible, horrible, no good, very bad fluff. I am completely and entirely unapologetic.

**1\. - Erik and Charles**

"I'm telling you, Steve, there's no way in hell Charles 'Like, Ninety-Years-Old' Xavier has a _Wii U_  in his mansion," Tony complains. "This is pointless."

Steve gives him a look. "This is a school. Full of children. If you're telling me there's no chance someone's sneaked in at least one of the things, you're nuts." He gestures around. "You've heard how many times the kids have said they'd die without technology. Plus, this place is huge."

Tony shifts from foot to foot, nervous. "Look, I'm usually all for trespassing, but this place gives me the creeps. A game of Super Mario Bros. is not worth getting maimed by ghosts."

"Maimed by ghosts," Steve repeats, deadpan.

"Yes, maimed by ghosts! It's an ungodly hour of the morning, we're in a creepy mansion, and there's literally no one around. We're begging for it, Steve. Begging for it."

Steve shrugs, sighs, and taps his foot, hallway echoing with the beat. "One more room, and if there's no Wii U, we'll turn back, safely away from the ghosts. That you think will maim us. In Charles's house. Which people live in." Tony narrows his eyes at him. "Keyword being live, Tony."

Tony looks shifty. "Fine. One more room."

Steve grins, and they keep walking.

They finally settle on a room that seems slightly less likely to have blood-thirsty ghosts in it than any of the other rooms, and Steve slowly creaks open the door.

There, they're met by the sight of Professor X and Magneto themselves, cuddled up on the couch together, playing Mario Kart.

Tony stares, blankly, frozen for a minute.

"I told you," Steve says, after they've silently shut the door behind them.

"About the Wii U or about the fact that Charles and Erik are in a loving partnership?"

"Does this mean you owe me the dinner we bet on?" Steve replies, instead. "Because I think I'd like Italian."

* * *

  **2\. - Clint and Phil**

"Coulson's tie is done up all wrong," Tony announces while they're eating lunch. "Is the world about to end?"

Steve looks down at his plate of leftover Indian. "Can't the apocalypse wait? I'm really enjoying this. It's spicy." He says this as if spicy food is some post-war modern miracle, like vaccines for Polio or the invention of Netflix.

"No, really, should we be concerned? Should we be suiting up or something? Is there a meteor heading for Earth right now that we haven't been informed about?"

Steve's eyes are filled with regret, but his face is set in steely determination. "I'll save the world with you right now, Tony, even if it means giving up my food."

"Thanks, Cap," Tony says. "It means a lot to me."

Clint plonks down unceremoniously next to them at the table. "No worries, teammates of mine, our lives are not coming to a close. It was just me. I messed his tie up this morning when we were having hot, athletic, superhero-"

"We get it, we get it," Tony cries. "You'll actually turn my mind to mush, and then where will we be? You'll have to shut down the initiative if I'm not here -- me, Tony Stark, with my very impressive smarts." He turns to Steve, whispers, "My brain isn't the only thing impressive about me, you know."

Steve rolls his eyes, with no unsubtle degree of affection. "I know."

* * *

  **3\. - Thor and Loki**

"What? What even?"

Tony shoots Steve a fleeting glance before turning back to the CCTV footage of the Tower's largest bedroom. "Is that, like, a thing on Asgard? Do they do that?"

"I don't know. I don't really _want_  to know. But I do know. Thanks, Tony, by the way. You know, for _showing me._ " Steve's voice rises a little in pitch at the end there, but Tony is too engrossed to feel guilty.

"Can you even _bend_  that way? Jesus!"

* * *

  **4\. - Peter and Wade**

"He's basically our son," Tony says. "It's our job to threaten his dates with shotguns."

"Relax, Tony." Steve rubs soothing circles into his back. "I'm sure she'll be good for him."

"Please, can't we just spy on him a little?"

Steve eyes him sadly, looking like a kicked puppy. "You promised no spying, after what happened last time."

"I didn't _actually_  shoot her in the face with a repulsor blast. I only _threatened_  to. There's a difference."

"They broke up two days later."

"Not my fault."

"You literally singed her hair. It was _that_  close."

"Not my fault. I slipped."

"So, you're telling me you shot her _accidentally._ "

"Yes."

"Tony, we can't spy on them."

"Not even a little bit?"

Steve's eye twitches.

"A tiny bit? Just the audio feed? No video, I swear."

"Fine, okay, but only for a little while," Steve concedes. "And no threats."

 

When they listen in on Peter's date and hear Wade Wilson's voice at the other end, Tony keeps true to his word. Instead, he sits on the bed for an hour, looking torn.

"I want to blast Wilson in the face," Tony says. "But on the other hand..."

"He really cares about Peter," Steve supplies.

"Yeah."

"Leave them be, Tony. Let love run its course."

"Did you really just say that?"

"I might have," says Steve.

Tony kisses him.

* * *

  **5\. - Pepper and Natasha**

"They're on a coffee date, aren't they?" Tony asks.

Steve looks at him, wide-eyed. "Tony, I'm sorry. I know how much Pepper means to-"

"Steve, no, come on," Tony interrupts. "Do you really think I'd do that? To us? I love Pepper, but I'm not _in love_  with her. I haven't been for a long time."

Steve looks at him. Tony looks back.

"Okay," he replies, breaking out into a smile. "Okay. Sorry."

* * *

**+1 - Tony and Steve**

"Oh my god," Clint says. "Oh my fucking god."

Tony turns his head to get a good look at Clint's surprised expression. Has he done something? Is Clint finally having his mid-life crisis?

"Those wedding bands match," Clint accuses. "Holy shit, you're married. You're totally in love and married."

"Dude, like, there was a huge PR freak out and everything," Tony snaps. "How did you not notice that? You're Hawkeye. Seriously."

"I was in Budapest again, okay?" Clint defends. "You know what that entails."

"I don't actually?"

"Whatever. I have a completely sound excuse."

Steve blinks.

"Oh my god, you're really freaking married. Like, major married. Epic married. _Titanic_ and _The Notebook_ kinda married."

"I take offense to that," Tony grumbles.

"Wow. That's really beautiful. I'm touched."

"Shut up, Clint," Steve says, fondly.

Natasha cheers from across the room.

* * *

_FIN._


End file.
